New voices, resoultions, and handicaps...

http://offeredbutdecisionwasmade.blogspot.com/

This is the problem.  Take a look and really think about it. 

There has always been an us versus them mentality in town.  It's a common thing in many smaller towns.  It is very easy to dismiss it as 'their' problem.  Which of them are you?


I'm not sure how to even start this topic.  I was born and raised here, but I easily understand the feeling of being on the outside.  I think I have a unique perspective because of this.  I'm not of the handful of family names that makes up the 'pillar' of this community.  I'm not an outsider in the literal sense of the word.  I've worked with, gone to school with, grown up with, and got along with the 'few' all of my life, but I've struggled with the same feeling of exclusion and 'decision already made' issues.

I've been on the inside looking out.  It feels like you are open to all.  It feels like you are listening.  In the moment you think you're doing the right thing.

I've been on the outside looking in.  Suggesting things that really make sense, but being passed over like you were a dog that was yapping nonsense.  I've not been invited to the discussions that make you feel like you're being ruled over by a small group of privileged individuals with the right name or contacts.

This is a tricky thing.  I'm going to use MABA as the example because they are the main organization as of right now.  Most of these critiques and the general time line can be applied to other organizations and in other towns.  So please try and keep defensive reactions to specific examples to a minimum.  I know it's hard.


The Malvern Betterment Forum was started.  This was started by a handful of people.  It was open to all.  Everyone had an equal voice.  Some felt that this group should be a community group, some felt it should be business oriented, others felt different ways.  A majority jumped from that group to take over MABA.  I was one that largely cut my ties at this point.

MABA became a 'doer' of the community.  But somehow it became the 'few' that ran the group.  The 'few' took control and drove it the direction that they felt was best.  (And they have accomplished a few great things)  The 'few' took leadership positions.  And somewhere along the line, largely all the 'outsiders' stepped away.  Now it is the 'few' deciding what is best for all. 

Now one of the best 'doers' was not one of the original 'few'.  How does an outsider become leader of the 'few', and now led by another 'outsider'?  The 'few' point to this and say "they aren't one of the 'few', see we accept all!"  Is this a good point, or is this the exception, not the norm?  I think we can tell which, but it does punch holes in the 'outsider' issue to some degree, but it isn't what usually happens.  There will always be personal bias from both sides, that's just human nature.

The point is that many people don't feel welcome.  Many people feel ignored, or at best tolerated, at these meetings.  I've felt that way, and I was one of the original members of the forum.  I don't attend any longer because of these very issues.  I know many others that will agree. 

MABA can throw up their arms and cry "We don't do that" or "That's their problem".  You can deny the issue, but that doesn't make anything better.  I'm identifying problems, your choice is what to do with it.

Now to be fair, I can tell you from years of experience that it is never solely one person's or group's problem.  There are issues from both sides.  I'm not taking the 'outsider' view alone.  For example, MABA does put announcements in the paper about meetings.  MABA doesn't literally exclude anyone.  Some 'Outsiders' are extra sensitive to these problems.  Some 'Outsiders' may not even show up because of past experiences.  This is not a one sided issue, but we need to acknowledge both side's issues and why they exist.



This should be three different posts, but I'm trying to get it out in one.  Thank you to the author of the blog posted above.  Hopefully this will be another voice for all of us to listen to and gain some insight. The issues addressed in the post need to be addressed.  These issues need to be resolved.  I'm not sure how to do that.  The only thing I know is that we need to acknowledge and get past them.  Not ignore or pretend they're not there, not throw the blame one way.

I do know that it's time to move forward as a whole and check the egos and hurt feelings at the door.  SOON!  It's time to suck it up and take some critique.  It's time to try again if you've been excluded, and it's time to admit that there is a difference between the 'few' and the 'outsiders'.  There is an inner circle, and there are people on the outside looking in.

I suggest everyone goes to the City Wide Initiative meeting.  We all need to be heard, and if you don't think you're being hear, yell louder.  I'll be there.  Heck, I may even give some drama and stand up and declare who I am?  Not like most of you couldn't already guess.  Especially after this post.



A wise voice and 'doer' that this town has lost, recently said to me that the belief that there is a handicap is the biggest handicap for this town.  This town is what we make it.  There will be issues.  There will be hurt feelings.  It's time to get over it and work together... or we will all be going down together sooner than later.